Marriage is ...

Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on

the inside are trying to get out.

Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.

Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.

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Words with two meanings

Thingy (thing-ee) n.

Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.F
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

Remote Control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;

He said .. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said .. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said .. .. We don't know; it has never happened.

He said .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.