ALLA TURCA

Some of the most detailed subjects of nations pertain to its’ traditions, customs and habits. As the cradle of various cultures for centuries, Turkey exhibits a colorful array of customs.
The information provided in this section is based to a large extent on interviews with family elders, who possess a deep understanding of tradition and cultural practices in Turkey.

ADDRESSING
When you settle in Turkey you are going to notice that people usually address eachother with their first names. Dont be surprised because people were mentioned with their first and their fathers name during the 700-year Ottoman Empire. Surname law is accepted in 1934 after the Republic of Turkey is establish.

Hanım is added to the first name while addressing to ladies while Bey is added to their first name when addressing to men. For example the lady whose name is Binnur Kandemir is called Binnur Hanım and the man whose name is Ali Parlar is called Ali Bey. Turks usually discriminate on this subject when speaking to foreigners and non-Moslems. Vaçe Muhtaryan is generally addressed as Bay Vaçe or Monsieur Vaçe or Michele Tengizman is addressed as Bayan Michele or Madame Michele. During business conferences or meetings people speak to each other Sayın followed by their surnames ignoring the gender (i.e. Defne Tesal is called Sayın Tesal)

Sometimes people are addressed by their professions. For example you can address a female lawyer as Avukat (literally lawyer) Hanım or a male doctor as Doktor Bey. You can call a male personnel on officical sites as Memur Bey, however it is not proper to call the female personnel as Memur Hanım. Any serviceman whether he is electrician, upholsterer or plumber is addressed as usta. The taxi, dolmuş and bus drivers can be addressed as Şoför Bey.

The salesman in çarşıs and pazars usually address to customers with names used for relatives. They speak to young customers abla, abi and to middle-aged customers teyze or amca and to the older customers as anne, baba, nine or dede. This kind of addressing has nothing to do with establishing any family relationship but was made up just for addressing easiness…

BODY LANGUAGE
Turks like to communicate with their hands and arms and they can surely compete with Italians on this matter. Even if you don’t know a word in Turkish it is possible for you to get along with a Turk. Bow your head for ‘yes’ and raise your head backwards for ‘No’. If you raise your shoulders and open your arms it means, “I don’t know”. In order to show that you trust him/her you can tap his/her shoulders. Moreover, Turks like kissing each other. It is customary to kiss each other's cheeks upon greeting and when leaving - men also do this, however it is presumed that there is some level of familiarity, otherwise, a simple handshake would suffice.
Besides Turks generate strange sounds as “hııı” or “hı hı” for yes. They even make fun of with the “çık” sound they use for “No”. If you unite all your fingers and swing your hand up and down everybody will understand that you loved the meal. Above all if you close your eyes and make “mmmmm” sound they will even think you are a Turk.

There are some hand signs considered impolite by Turks. The first one is to put your thumb between your index and middle finger while your hand is in a fist position. The other is the middle finger standing upright again when your hand is in a fist. They both symbolize the male sex organ and mean, “f..k you!”. Another sign is the meeting of your thumb and index finger forming a circle. While in most countries this means “Okay”, in Turkey it means homosexual and is considered a big insult, and has been the cause of more than one murder (!!!) among especially despot Turkish men. If you point to your head with your index finger it means “Are you an idiot?”, again if you put your index finger to your temple and move it like screwing it means “Are you crazy?”. While you are driving if you raise your hand and wave it about, it will indicate the car following yours, “What’s the matter?” and it is sure to anger most drivers.

A note of caution: Foreigners would be well advised to avoid using any offensive hand signals or any motions that could possibly be construed as being rude, insulting or aggressive. Such acts could lead to serious consequences and even personal injury as wounded egos fueled by excessive testosterone will often seek what they perceive to be justice. Avoid meaningless confrontations - better to just walk away from trouble.

Food Habits


A family dinner
Turkish breakfasts consists of cheese, olives, butter, jam, loaves of fresh bread and of course, the indispensable abundant flow of tea. The breakfast in rural areas and of the poor, is soup. To offer tea, made from “teabags”, to Turks who love to drink tea, is considered an insult. Turks prepare tea by brewing it in a teapot, preferably porcelain, over a kettle. They even order tea at Cafes. Tea is served in porcelain cups at the major hotels and cafes however Turks prefer to have their tea served in glass cups. Although instant coffee, which Turks call “Nescafe”, is quite common, nothing can take the place of a good cup of tea. You’ll be introduced to the “Tea Garden” concept here in Turkey. These are open-air gardens, usually located in places with stunning panoramic views. Tea gardens (çay bahçesi) also serve fruit juice and colas, sandwiches and “tost” (e.g. cheese toast, cheese and sausage toast). More traditional teas gardens serve their tea with a Semaver (a metal object of old Russian culture) and in some tea gardens you’ll even find nargile (hubble bubble water pipe) for smoking an array of fruit flavored tobacco. The tea gardens of Moda and Emirgan are popular choices among café goers.
Vegetables have an important place in Turkish cuisine. They can either be cooked with olive oil and served cool or with butter/margarine and a little meat, and served hot. The star of the kitchen is a different sort of rice, called pilav (pilaf). A good pilaf is the proof of a housewife’s cooking skills. If you see a person eating bread with pilaf or macaroni, in any part of the world, you can be pretty sure he/she is a Turk. Bread is the indispensable part of every Turkish meal. It is eaten whether or not it is particularly suited to the meal. Besides bread, Turks drink water during their meals. Even if they are drinking alcoholic beverages it is a good idea to put a decanter full of water on the table. Potable water is distributed in several ways in Turkey, via large glass or plastic demijohns or sold in plastic or glass bottles. Moreover Turks drink water from the fountains found throughout parts of town (the water is clean and potable).

Turkish coffee , enjoyed after meals and/or especially as a “morning coffee” around 11 o’clock by housewives, is served in small porcelain cups resembling espresso cups. It is served without sugar (sade), with some sugar (orta) or sweet (şekerli). In Turkey, there is a famous saying: "A cup of coffee commits one to forty years of friendship" – this shows just how special Turkish coffee is among Turks. In Turkey, it is a common practice to have your coffee grounds read, after you have finished. If you ask around, you are sure to find someone who purports to be a fortuneteller. You may be surprised by accuracy of the things this person tells you, when they don’t know anything about you or your life. A favorite statement here is: “Don’t believe fortune telling but don’t be left without fortune telling.”

HOME VISITS



Turkish slippers, terlik
In general shoes are taken off when entering a Turk’s home. In the larger cities and among the better to-do families, this is not always necessary however. It is usually the custom of small settlements and conservative families. In general Turks wear slippers at home. Housewives tend to compete with each other on cleanliness and will certainly not let you in with your shoes on. At any rate, in a country whose streets are disorderly and dirty, it makes good sense to leave your shoes at the door and slide into a pair of comfortable slippers. Almost all Turkish homes will have a pair of “guest slippers”, reserved just for visitors. And if the idea of wearing someone else’s shoes does not appeal to you, you can always tote along a pair of your own, which will not be considered out of the ordinary.
Kissing the hands of older family members is an obligatory ceremony of Bayram. Some families get together at the house of the oldest family member and have a “Bayram meal” all together. The elders give candy or money to those youngsters kissing their hands. In the past, gold coins and money were given however unfortunately this habit has been essentially lost, due to financial reasons.

Among Turks, kissing the hand of an elder and touching it to your forehead is a sign of respect shown to elders. Those in esteemed or reputable positions in society, and the elderly, enjoy having their hands kissed. For example, primary school teachers wait for their students to kiss their hands after graduation. This also is an indispensable custom practiced during Bayrams. The older members of the family give candies and some pocket money to the children who kissed their hands. If you are married to a Turk and visiting his family members you are expected to follow your husband in kissing hands. In some families the younger members do not smoke or cross their legs when together with the older members of the family. It will be easier for you if you discuss with your spouse what sort of customs and behavior you are expected to follow. (Worth thinking about: As you attempt to please others, be careful not to lose your own identity and uniqueness). Kissing hands of ladies in a French manner is not a common habit.

Turks are very generous and can be rather insistent when offering food in particular. It is best to just accept what is offered to you, with a smile, even though you may be full. If you don’t accept, you will undoubtedly hear comments like “Didn’t you like it?” or “Was it bad?”, and you even risk offending your host. If it is your second, third, or fourth helping, at some point you are bound to be genuinely full and you are not obliged to “clean your plate”.

MILITARY&ARMY
If you hear horns from a convoy of cars, and the cars are decked with Turkish flags, you can be sure it is a “farewell ceremony” for a youngster who is headed of to complete his military service. Sometimes these ceremonies accompanied by drums and horns.
For those not enrolled in any post-secondary education, military service is mandatory at the age of 20. Females are exempt from military service. Military service is a very important period in a Turkish man’s life. Military service is considered the final stage in a young mans education and he is deemed not to really have experienced “life” until he completes his military service. Most companies look for personnel who have completed their military service. Marriages are postponed until after this important right of passage. Turkish males without higher education must serve 15 months as private soldiers. Graduates of higher education are subject to complete their military service either in 6 months as private soldiers or in 12 months as reserve officers. Legal action is taken against those who do not register at the recruiting office, and they may be forbidden to travel abroad. Please note: males with dual nationality should be very careful and know their rights and obligations.

In a country with 65% of its population under 25 years of age, the number of youngsters serving in the military at any given time is very high. From time to time in order to decrease the accumulation of men, “short term military service” options are provided.

Turks who have been living and working abroad for more than 3 years are granted to be exempted from the military service by having 21 days long symbolic military training. Paid military service is decided by law therefore it is not possible to form conjectures on the time or whether there will be such an option. For more information please visit the website of Ministry of Defense given below at External Link section.

The Army is held in high regard by the majority of Turks. Atatürk, the founder of modern Turkey, and a graduate of a military school, added considerably to the positive feeling felt throughout the country towards soldiers. Important government changes in the Turkish Republic (founded in 1923), were made by the army’s interference in the existing governments of 1960 and 1980. The Great Assembly was abolished, a new Constitution was prepared by a committee of experts, and elections took place.

Relations with Relatives



A family meeting
There are times when it will seem as if everyone you meet is related somehow to one another. This is due to close marriage with relatives, but is a tradition that is changing and today prevalent particularly among rural and lower income families. Below is a list of names used to describe each relative, based on his/her position, in reference to your own. Foreigners often find it shocking to learn how many names there are for Aunt and Uncle!!
The core family: anne (mother), baba (father), kız çocuk (daughter), erkek çocuk (son), ağabey (older brother), abla (older sister).

The relatives on the mother’s side are anneanne (grandmoth er), dede (grandfather), teyze (aunt - mother’s sister), enişte (teyze’s husband), dayı (uncle - mother’s brother), yenge (dayı’s wife), yeğen (sister’s and brother’s child) and kuzen (teyze’s and dayı’s children).


The relatives on the father’s side are babaanne (grandmother), büyükbaba (grandfather), hala (aunt - father’s sister), enişte (hala’s husband), amca (uncle – father’s brother), yenge (amca’s wife), yeğen (sister’s and brother’s child), kuzen (hala’s and amca’s children).

Elti (two brothers’ wives to each other), baldız (the wife’s sister), bacanak (two sisters’ husbands to each other), kayınço (kayınbirader) (the wife’s brother), görümce (the husband’s sister) kayınvalide or kaynana (mother-in-law), kayınpeder or kaynata (father in law) are the relatives you have by marriage.

Some of the close friends of the family called teyze and amca by the children; like Jane teyze, Richard amca. Moreover it is common to hear some sellers addressing you as amca, teyze, abla, abi.


SPECIAL TASTES

As fast food chains conquest the world, Turks still have delicious and traditional alternatives for hamburgers and cola!
Turkish cuisine boasts the variety of drinks and food not usually found in other countries and which we prefer to call “special tastes” or “simple pleasures”.

We tried to describe them in subtitles as food, beverage and sweets but strongly recommend you to try.

Rakı & Meyhane




Recently fake bottles of Yeni Raki were in the market. Unfortunately the fake raki causes serious damages resulting to death. Now the manufacturer put into market Yeni Raki with golden crown cap instead of old silver caps. We strongly recommend you not to drink raki from already opened bottles.

Rakı, the national alcoholic drink of Turks has a high degree alcohol and should not be consumed quickly. Most people drink it by mixing it with water. Colorless rakı turns milky white when mixed with water. Mindful drinkers fill 1/3 of their glass with rakı then add water and finally ice. Ice is never put in the glass first. If rakı is met with ice before water, it crystallizes and the taste changes. Some people drink rakı straight. In addition the rakı should be cold. One sip rakı, one sip water – it softens this strong drink. Deniz Gürsoy who wrote a very nice book on rakı is among the defenders that believe that for each sip of rakı, one should have 3.5 sips of water. Rakı goes well with and often inspires good conversation. It is customary to eat meze (various foods served in small plates) while drinking rakı.
Here are some guidelines to observe when drinking rakı: First, wait until everyone has been served their rakı, then join in the toast all together. Try not to raise your glass higher than the rest. Never drink rakı with other liquors – it does not mix well and you may indeed find yourself feeling ill or suffering a terrible hangover the next day. Rakı is not a one-shot-liquor as vodka or tequila..

There is a saying in Turkish that goes something like this: “If you want to know a person, either travel with them or go and drink rakı with them”. Use good judgment when choosing whom to drink rakı with as it is quickly intoxicating. When you sit down at a Meyhane, you will first order your drinks and then a waiter will most likely bring a large tray of meze to the table and you can pick and choose which ones you would like. Don’t forget to order some butter with toasted bread as eating them will help you tolerate the alcohol. Usually, main course dishes follow the hot mezes. If you are not sure what to order, look around at the nearby table and point to something you find appealing. If you happen to sit at a table that is already loaded with mezes, send back the ones that you do not want (without touching them of course) so as not to be charged for them on bill.

It is a good idea to finish your meze before ordering any main course as you may very well find that you are full and satisfied with just the meze. If you are ordering fish, go lightly on the meze or you will be too full to enjoy its delicate flavor.

Often there are musical groups performing which will roam throughout the restaurant. If you do not want them to visit your table, tell the owner or manager immediately. If they do come to your table and play for you it is customary to give a tip. You need only tip one of them, but make the tip visible for all to see, so that they don’t keep standing there playing and coercing you into giving even yet another tip.