Three mistresses were bragging about their posterities. The first woman proudly says "My child is the part of a great royal family of noble rich blood." The second mistress is not to be outdone says, "My child is the part of a very wealthy and prominet social family." The third mistress kept quiet. So other two pressured on her to speak up the roots of her progeny. Finallty she broke the silence and said, "Well, at that moment I was drunk blind in a party with my mouth sunk in a wine glass in a doggie position."

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A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple!" A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once'." "We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' "We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. "I started an angry protest over her treatment to the horse, while I was Shouting; she looked at me, and quietly said, 'That's once'. And we lived happily ever after."