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Q: What is the difference between a paycheck and a penis?
A: You can always find a girl to blow your paycheck for you.
Q: What's worse than lipstick on you collar?
A: Leg makeup on your ears.
Q: How does a lesbian hold her liquor?
A: By the ears!
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Devil Worshipper?
A: He sold his soul to Santa.
Q: What do you get if you cross a penis and a potato?
A: A dictator.
Q: How do you make a cat drink?
A: Put it in the blender and extract the fur.
Q: How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nine. One to screw in the bulb while the other 8 hold up the mirrors.
Q: What goes clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop,clip-clop, bang, bang, clip-clop, clip-clop?
A: An Amish drive-by shooting.
Q: Why do Jewish people have such big nose's??
A: Because air is free!
Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch pornos backwards?
A: They like to see the part where the hooker gives the money back!
Q: What's the definition of "Endless Love?"
A: Ray Charles and Helen Keller playing tennis.
Q: How many Los Angeles police officers does it take to beat up a black motorist?
A: None. He fell down the stairs.
Q: What happens when a paranoid has low self-esteem?
A: He thinks that nobody important is out to get him.
Q: What is hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside, begins with the letter 'c' ends with the letter 't' and has the letters 'u' & 'n' in the middle?
A: A coconut.
Q: How do you tell one end of a worm from the other?
A: Put it in a bowl of flour and wait for it to fart.
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower?
A: Vibrato.
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